You Know You’re a Mother When:

– Changing from sweat pants into stretchy pants or jeans feels like dressing up

– You realize “I’m too tired” doesn’t really work as an excuse anymore

– You have trouble remembering when you last showered

– You get excited about eating anything that isn’t toast

– You like to hide out in the bathroom

– You’re obsessed with sleep

– You think you might be more comfortable talking to a baby than to adults

– You can do almost anything wearing a baby carrier, including taking a #2

– You always have a patch of baby barf on your shoulder

– You’ve given up on trying to change into something that doesn’t have baby barf on it

– You’ve become immune to the smell of baby poo, and you actually sniff your baby’s diaper bum to check for poo on purpose

– Going to work feels like a day at the spa


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